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I Reheated This Coffee Three Times...
MOM LIFE & HUMOR • SEPTEMBER 15, 2026
MOM LIFE & HUMOR • SEPTEMBER 15, 2026
An extremely accurate account of coffee, Monday optimism, 47 open brain tabs, and my ongoing belief that today will definitely be the day I get my life together.
MONDAY.
That magical day of the week when I wake up with absolutely no evidence whatsoever and think:
“This is it. THIS is the week I get my entire life together.”
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Apparently, I’m thriving.
I know this because I’ve already reheated my coffee three times and still managed to drink most of it cold. At this point, I’m not drinking coffee.
I’m supervising it.
It travels around the house with me like a small emotional-support beverage that I occasionally abandon in random locations.
I make coffee. I get distracted. I find coffee. I microwave coffee. I walk away from the microwave.
Forty-five minutes later:
OH LOOK! COFFEE!
Meanwhile, I started the day with plans.
Ohhhh, I had PLANS.
I woke up with the confidence of a woman who genuinely believed she was about to answer emails, work, homeschool, run a boutique, write something for ZQueenBee, clean something, organize something, AND possibly become the kind of person who remembers to take meat out of the freezer before 4:47 p.m.
The delusion was magnificent.
By noon, I had answered one email, started six unrelated tasks, walked into a room and forgotten why I was there, opened my phone to do something important and somehow ended up watching a woman organize her refrigerator into tiny acrylic containers for seventeen minutes.
Do I need individually portioned blueberries?
No.
Do I now feel like my refrigerator is failing me?
Absolutely.
Then I remembered the laundry.
Not because I suddenly became responsible, but because I needed something that was in the washing machine since yesterday.
So technically the washing machine is now a closet.
Please respect my organizational system, and can we discuss THE LIST?
You see, every Monday morning I make a to-do list like I have never met myself before.
Monday Tanya is apparently going to accomplish 37 things. Sunday Tanya couldn’t find the coffee she put in the microwave. But sure, let’s add “organize pantry” to the list.
Dream big, girl.
DREAM. BIG.
Somehow, at the end of the day, I’ll look around and think:
“What exactly did I DO today?”
Ma’am.
You survived 63 interruptions, answered questions nobody warned you were coming, fed people who apparently require food EVERY SINGLE DAY, moved the same pile three times, reheated one cup of coffee into another dimension and kept everybody alive.
I’m counting it.
So no, my life isn’t perfectly organized.
My coffee isn’t hot.
My laundry may currently be living inside an appliance.
Oh, and there’s a very good chance I have something extremely important written on a sticky note that I have now lost.
But I’m still here.
Still laughing.
Still making plans.
Tomorrow morning I will wake up, pour another cup of coffee and — with absolutely NO EVIDENCE WHATSOEVER to support this level of confidence — think:
“Today’s the day I get caught up.”
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. 😂😂😂
That, my friends, is apparently what thriving looks like around here. ☕️🩷
Okay, your turn…
Okay, your turn…
Tell me I’m not alone. What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve done lately because your brain had 47 tabs open?
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